Christel Crawford

Christel Crawford Follow

Author. Entrepreneur. Creator. Disruptor. Consciousness lover.

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Are you willing to give up control, and KNOW that the Universe has your back?
You know that moment.... .... when your whole life is just.... gorgeous?

Like, the people in it are just.... gah
and the moments that you're choosing are just... mmmmmm
and the sky is grey but the air is so.... omg
and that sparkling water that just hit your tongue is like... holy!! <3

I've been bursting into sparkling effervesces of gratitude more times that I can count today.  Many times followed by gales of grateful tears. {you know me}

It's like I've been in an ocean of magic and the waves of it just keep gently washing over me, and swirling all around me, and every molecule of my being  is just so blissfully happy to be just... being.

And I'm looking back at all the years I spent sad... and alone.... and believing that all of that heaviness was real.  And all of my problems were real and needed to be solved.

And what I'm seeing now..... is that there is this space -- This magical space -- Where the plants.... and the animals.... and my mountains live.... where you just --- be.

And in this space - everything is possible.
And creating stuff is ease.
And the people that match this energy make you cry, they're so amazing.

Everything in this space of being is contribution.
Every energy that 'is'. And there's total allowance for everything you are.
And total honoring of everything you are.

And you know the best - most amazing thing?

That it turns out that the thing you get to discover Most in this space..... is the absolute brilliance and magic - of you.

You know that you?
The one you've been hiding from you?


The TOTAL brilliance - kindness - gentleness - complete caring - of YOU.

I wonder what would be possible in your life if you were willing to be owned by your own brilliance?

And I wonder how beautiful our planet will be - when you are?
You can only get abused by something you've made real!! 😳 Is it time to have a different possibility?? 😁
Listen, you: when there's no one you want to watch or listen to, the thing you're looking for is YOU.  #gettowork 😁
My mother likes hand writing letters and cards. 
In an age of email and Facebook, and in full knowledge that my physical address changes more and faster than the weather, she's always after me to give it to her, and right after finally obtaining the latest one, she'll always send me something.  A card, a letter about how Satan's whole goal is to break up families -- something.

We don't actually talk a whole lot because it's not that fun when we do.

But every time my sends me something or we talk on the phone and it doesn't disintegrate into me needing to hang up on her, she always tells me about that moment when they first laid me in her arms.

About how much she loves me.  About how she looked down at me and thought I was the most beautiful thing she'd ever laid eyes on.  Her Christel Joy.  Her "darling baby girl". And about how Mama's and babies never stop ceasing to be.

Because there's been so much about my mother that I've had to "overcome", that exclamation of hers that I will always be her first baby and special to her, has always gotten under my skin.

It's been the thing I've been most unwilling to receive, the incongruence of so many of her other choices compelling me to refuse to receive it for the poison that might lurk underneath.  It's felt like the trap I'd never be able to escape.  The iron shackles of buying a story of love that would only rear up and break my heart again.

But there’s ah-ha, as Mother’s Day draws closer... I don't have to align and agree with anything about her, and I don't have to resist it either.  She and I can just... be. 
What is your relationship with your mom? Tell me 😘
What’s you’re reality with that?
It's really a simple question.

It doesn't seem that significant.

Almost like... duh!

But so many times, when I'm locked up into something that feels heavy or sludg-y or like I have no choice, I'm really not being me.

It took me awhile to know what 'me' is.

Because I'm also not defined.

I can be potent and pissed.
I can be flirty.
I can be fun.
I can be a black hole of unconsciousness.
I can be kind.
I can be an asshole.

I can be many things.

But when I'm being me there is SO much space between my molecules. 
I'm grateful for everything.

I see possibilities at every turn AND am willing to wonder what they could be.

I can be intense and it doesn't hurt my body.

I am lighter than a feather when I'm being me, and everything is possible.

Truthfully, I was me so little before Access tools came into my life, that it took me a few years to get that there was a me who *could* be light.

I get that you might be there today.

But start wondering.

The universal "seek and you shall find" actually works.

When you're curious about something, the whole universe conspires to show you.

What is your reality with this thing?
And that situation?
And that person?

If you were being 'you' here, what would you be aware of and what could you choose?

That's being unstoppable. 
No force.  No hurt.  No separation.

Just you being aware of - and choosing - what's 'you'. ☺️ Is there anywhere in your life, where you’re not being you - maybe choosing from somebody else’s point of view? What is that?... Tell me...
Just ask. All the questions. 
Forget all the ‘answers’. #aintnobodygottimeforthat
What’s the purpose of choosing no money? Ummm... This question kills me 😂

Because it acknowledges the fact that everything we choose, we choose because it creates something we're 'enjoying'. Now, we may have bought the reason & the story around no-money so hard that it doesn't seem like we're enjoying it.

But that sh*t is workin'! 😁

So, what I love about this question is if you're really willing to get vulnerable with it, and look at what the purpose really IS for you... ... you can actually change it.

If you want. 
Or just be okay with you for once!  Which might also be a nice change.

You can create anything you want.
You already have. 😉
What aren’t you choosing, that may be the single most amazing thing so far...because someone else thinks you shouldn’t. 
Yeah, you’re right. You should probably listen to them. 😉🤣😂
Are you proving or being? 
Well, really, it's just a question to ask yourself. 😍

Am I proving or being here?

I spent most of my life proving things.

That I was a good daughter.
A good wife.
A good pianist.

Now that I'm looking at it, it was all about proving I was good 😁

And I can tell you with certainty that what was underneath all the proving was the secret belief that I was bad.

Truthfully, I just believed I was a bad person.

Anytime you have to prove that you have money, you secretly believe you have none.

When you have to prove you love someone, you've bought that you don't care.

When you have to prove you have a big business, you believe you don't.

It's super weird.

So, what is being a great facilitator of yourself here? 
What would it be like to be willing to be? You? Exactly as you are?  And choose to create?  Because... you create? :) 🥰
...and what would that look like? Would you really be okay with all that freedom?! Its not what we are taught to be on this planet... being you... and freedom can be scary right? But what if it creates more than your wildest dreams?
You know how when you're creating and watching things and reading other things, and learning a lot, and you wanna post something, somewhere so that you can stay in touch on social media, but really you have nothing to say in English because it's all in pictures and programs and emails and ideas and post it notes, somewhat on your computer but still mostly in your know at some point is going to tumble out and turn into magic, but you'd like to show up at least a little bit so that people know you're alive??! 😆

Yea, that about sums it up. *looks up from the pile*

Hi!! 😁😁