Peet Guercio

Peet Guercio Follow

Comedian. Host. Wants to do standup and have allergies at your club/college.

http://www.heypeet.com/

4,655 Followers  755 Follow

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Finally finished the redesign of my guest bathroom
Hello please be impressed by my wavy haircut thank you
In your best judgmental Wanda Sykes voice, say “Look at this phone-ass muhfucka.” and tell me it doesn’t put a smile on your face.
Grow a pair and just write MADE WITH POOP
‪Hello San Francisco. Thanks again for reminding me just how hideous LA is. And for the fantastic five standup shows so far. If I have one complaint, I could use a few more big dogs on the sidewalk please and thank you.
Dearest Clara,
Melania's influence grows stronger by the day. I fear that if she is not stopped immediately, the war will soon be lost. The airport massage industry is now under her grasp, and I will make it my life's work to ensure that this is where her power meets its end.
Love always, 
Cecil
Spotted by @bobspace in Kyoto.⁣
⁣⁣
⁣This company and I are in a fight.
I don’t trust this motherfucker.
What will the Mensch On A Bench people think of next??
Everyone's favorite #1 very best fuzzy good boy, Noodles. 
That door doesn't go outside. Just a dark laundry room.
Love that Taco Bell’s slogan is “Live Más” when their food literally causes you to “Live Menos”